How long should I meditate for?
Any time is a good time to meditate. Just 5-minutes is better than none. However, the ideal time frame to begin to experience the results from meditation is between 15-45 minutes. Just like physical exercise you need to build a a bit of a sweat to really ‘feel’ the effect. That’s why most of Soul Alive’s sessions are 20-30-mins.
Does it matter when I meditate?
No, not at all. One of the beautiful things about meditation is its malleability. in other words how you can mold it to the time and situation you’re in.
Use the morning classes to ‘switch-on’ and sharpen your focus for the day ahead and the evening classes to unwind and relax. Either way, dedicating 20-30mins a day to meditate is a great habit to get into. Aim for consistency with a time amount each day.
You can also tap-into a state of ‘beingness’ at any time too. Taking small moments throughout the day to connect with your body and breath, feeling the aliveness that in it, is a great partner to a regular meditation practice. As you pause more and more—the space of a mindful pause will allow you to come home to your heart and awareness.
Do I need a special place to meditate?
It’s helpful to find a relatively quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. It can also be helpful to use the same place each time because the association of that place has the potential to help you to settle into your meditation more quickly.
That said, many people meditate on public transportation, in their offices at lunchtime, and in public parks. As part of the “art and science” of meditation, you can creatively experiment with what works for you and use that feedback to decide on an optimal meditation location.
Is there a particular posture I should use?
Similar to finding a meditation place, you can experiment with different postures. One posture is not better than another. Sitting in a chair is fine, as is sitting in a cross-legged posture. The important thing is to respect your body and do your sitting, standing, walking, or lying down meditation in a way that balances relaxation and alertness.
That said, here are some helpful tips for sitting posture:
Sit in a way that allows the spine to be upright and relaxed, following its natural curves.
Allow the shoulders to relax back and down.
Place the hands on the thighs or in the lap (perhaps resting on a small cushion or towel) and allow the arms to relax.
Allow the back of the neck to lengthen and the chin to slightly tuck in.
My mind is always busy, lost in thought. How do I quieten it?
This is very common to think when starting out with meditation. Firstly, there is no need to get rid of thoughts; this is not the purpose of meditation. The point is to let your mind rest in the present moment and we do this by redirecting out thoughts to one thing that is IN the present moment and every time we bring our focus to that focal point we strengthening our mind and focus. Instead of quietening the mind being the focus, let focus itself be the objective and things will then naturally become quiet. Here are several suggestions which can help to steady attention:
Commit to not judging the arising of thinking. Rather, respond to thoughts and when you catch yourself wandering off with acceptance and humor.
You can experiment by giving your busy, lost-in-thought-mind a way to cooperate with being present by silently whispering “Breathing in 1” with the in-breath. “Breathing out 1” with the out-breath. Follow with “Breathing in 2”, “Breathing out 2” up to 8, then counting backwards to one. The words are pointers to the direct feeling of the in-breath and out-breath connecting the mind and the body to steady and calm the mind. You can experiment with the words and pacing that work for you.
Just like a body of water stirred up by the winds, after being physically still for a while, your mind will gradually calm down.
What can I do if I get sleepy?
Sleepiness is another very common experience in meditation which can have several causes. First, sometimes we are tired and just need more sleep. Second, sometimes we are so accustomed to lots of stimulation and a fast-paced life that when our body gets still, the mind thinks, “Oh, it must be time to sleep!” The third cause is an imbalance in energy. You can be too relaxed without sufficient alertness so the mind begins to sink into sleepiness. To arouse energy you can pay more attention to the in-breath, meditate in a sitting position not laying down and active your core so your spine is long and strong. A fourth cause can be unconscious avoidance of a difficult experience that is close to awareness. One simply inquiry can be, “What would I have to feel if I wasn’t feeling sleepy right now?”
What if I get bored?
At some point(s) in meditation practice, everyone gets bored. It can be an amazing practice to explore your relationship with boredom. Otherwise whenever you are bored you will unconsciously open the refrigerator or go online. Boredom doesn’t have to be feared, despised, or judged. You can embrace it as part of practice. How does boredom feel in the body? Can you breathe with it? Get interested in knowing it directly?
Sometimes when the mind settles a bit and nothing big is happening, we miss the stimulation and become disinterested. Can you bring your attention to the breath as if it was your last breath? Boredom can be the outcome of disconnecting from the life that is present right now. You can even have the paradoxical experience of getting excited when you start to notice boredom arising. And the excitement will likely make the boredom disappear.
When I meditate, sometimes I feel a lot of fear . . . how do I deal with that?
When we turn our attention inward we all experience a vast range of emotions—some quite pleasant and others quite challenging. You can bring the two wings of mindfulness—sincere interest and kind attention—to fear; recognize and name it “fear, fear” and experiment with allowing rather than judging or pushing it away. Soon you will notice that there are thoughts about the circumstances related to the fear (i.e., storyline often from the past or the imagined future) plus the immediate presence of physical sensations related to feeling the fear in the present time. At this point you can shift attention to the sensations (e.g., tension in the belly or shoulders, heat in the face, heart pounding) including them with embodied presence.
You can experiment with breathing with the sensations; relaxing around the tension; placing your hand on your heart and whispering a message of care, “This is hard and I am right here,” “May I feel at ease,” “May I remember love right now,” or whatever words or gestures are a compassionate expression of keeping yourself company. You can also bring to mind a person or pet or place that brings you comfort and/or evokes the felt-sense of loving presence—like calling on an ally to sit with you as you hold the fear together.
You will come to see that strong emotion is like a weather system that swoops in, stays for a while, and eventually dissipates. Embodied presence cultivates a wise and compassionate relationship with the emotion rather than judging, rejections, or drowning in the experience.
There are times when the emotion can feel like drowning and you don’t feel grounded or resourced enough to be with it. Then it is very skillful and compassionate to step back and to shift the attention away from the story line and sensations related to the fear. You might open the eyes, take several full deep breaths, and sense what is needed now to settle and calm the mind and body. It may be to reach out to a friend, to take a walk, have a cup of tea. Trust that you will find your own way to dance with fear.
Sometimes I'll begin crying whilst meditating . What can I do?
Like fear, sorrow and grief arise in practice as part of the human experience. As with fear, you can mindfully recognize the sadness and allow tears to flow and lovingly attend to the sensations as described above with fear. Scenes of loss may arise and you can intend to stay present, breathing with the sadness, holding yourself with loving presence, allowing the waves of grief to arise and pass through. If the waves feel too strong, remember that stepping back is a wise gesture of self-compassion
What if I can’t feel anything in my body?
Many people are somewhat disconnected from the direct experience of their body. Mindfulness of body and breath is a training and it takes practice to recognize sensations and open to the felt sense of what’s going on inside you. Notice if you have judgment about not feeling anything in your body, and remember you are in good company. Also trust that it’s possible to awaken embodied awareness. Start simply by scanning through your body and noticing where you feel neutral or slightly pleasant sensations like the contact where your clothes meet your skin, sensations in the hands or feet, coolness or warmth. Sometimes tensing and relaxing a body part helps to make the sensations more obvious—increasing the blood flow makes it easier to feel tingling, pulsing, heat, etc.
Often we cut off from body sensations and emotions because they are intense, unfamiliar, or unpleasant. Instead, see if it’s possible to become curious about the life of the body, just as it is. Let your intention be to befriend whatever you experience with a patient, gentle, and accepting presence.